"Be Still and Know I am God"

​My heart has hurt for 7 weeks now. Our last baby was born still 7 weeks ago.  The mountains of my life came crashing down again, the waters raged around me.. I have felt like I was drowning.  Emotions, feelings, physical pain has been intense. I tried my best to just keep going.

Psalm 46 has been my cling to passage during this season.  

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"God is our refuge and strength, 
a helper who is always found in times of trouble.
Therefore we will not be afraid, 
though the earth trembles
and the mountains topple 
into the depths of the seas, 
though the waters roar and foams 
and the mountains quake with its turmoil. Selah
​
There is a river-
its streams delight the city of God,
the holy dwelling place of the Most High.
God is within her; she will not be toppled.
God will help her when the morning dawns.
Nations rage, kingdoms topple;
the earth melts when he lifts his voice.
The LORD of Armies is with us;
the God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah

Come, see the works of the LORD,
who brings devastation on the earth. 
He makes wars cease throughout the earth.
He shatters bows and cuts spears to pieces;
he sets wagons ablaze.
"Be still and know that I am God, 
exalted among the nations,
exalted on the earth."
The LORD of Armies is with us;
the God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah" 

Last night, I wailed myself back to sleep. I woke up because I had a dream the baby was crying and I needed to go feed him. But when I woke up to feed him, reality hit and it was just a dream. My emotions stormed, my world trembled. And the lover of my soul whispered, "Be Still and know I am Your God."

He isn't just God. He is my God. He is your God. Jesus made it personal. From the very beginning He was never okay with death being our ending. But from the fall, He had a passion and a love for us that drove Him from the Highest place to the cross. It drove Him to the grave. But it also is what propelled Him to Victory in Resurrection. One thing grief has taught me is love never ever dies though people do. Our God is Love.

Love is fighting for us. Be Still.
He is NOT DONE, Be Still.
He is Coming, Be Still.
He is Making All Things New, Be Still.
Death does NOT have the final say, Be Still.
Love never gives up, Be Still.
That Trumpet will Sound, Be Still. 
HE IS RISEN, Be Still. 
Be Still. He is God! 
Be Still. Love conquers all things.

But my heart remembers His weeping at the grave of Lazarus. Even knowing what was coming next, a resurrection, Jesus wept. In the stillness, emotions allow us to become aware that things are not as they should be. In the stillness... I am reminded that in the time we are still, we are standing on Holy Ground where we have to focus our mind on Him. If we are not still we could look around and get overwhelmed by the waves, like Peter. Being still has nothing to do with not feeling, it has everything to do with even though we feel... we stand firm. We stand still on the Rock of the Church.

​He is the Christ. Be Still, Church, Be Still.