But when I posted it on Facebook... I was shocked when people would post, "God made her special." "He made you her mother for a reason." And yet, again, I find myself asking what Bible they read and why I don't have that theology if it is the same Bible I am reading.
I know the verses like,
"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations" (Jeremiah 1:5, NIV).
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb" (Psalm 139:13).
I will be blunt. If God did this to her... if He gave her autism, I would be so mad! I would question His goodness. I would wonder why? But I know my God did not give Kennedy autism. He allowed her to have it, but He did not choose this for her. He did not create poorly. His creation does not have flaw. But the sin fallen world... corrupts His perfect design.
Let's look at Scripture! Read John 9.
"As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work" (John 9:1-4).
I find so much peace being a parent with a child with autism because it wasn't my sin, it wasn't Kennedy's sin that God pre-knew and "struck" judgment on her. But He allowed this to occur so that He could be Glorified. Just as He did when He allowed the Israelites to become slaves in Egypt. Just as he allows free will to occur. I believe we have a choice here. We have the choice to sit and blame God (even if it is a "God made her this way") or we can Glorify Him. We are choosing to Glorify Him.
The Israelites went to Egypt during Joseph's time because of famine. They end up staying there and becoming slaves. Is that what God chose for them? No, but He delivered them from that. He is the God that parts the waters so that His people walk across on dry land (Exodus 14:21). He is the God that heals men who were born blind (John 9). He is the God who died and rose again (Read the end of the Gospels!). He is the God of the Resurrection.
So, as her mother, I am going to pray that He parts the waters for Her. That He heals her. That He goes before her and with her in all things. And even if He doesn't heal Her.... HE IS STILL GOOD. He is still God. He has redeemed this. My baby won't be autistic in Heaven. She won't get so frustrated when people cannot understand her. She won't be overwhelmed when things are too loud. One day she will be able to make constant eye contact with her Savior...
I thank God that He allowed me to be a mother to a child with autism. I have learned so much of what I lack and have to be dependent on Him. I have to ask Him daily to fill me with patience that I don't have... I have to ask Him for His aid when I need help understanding her. I have to become more like Him to love her as much as I can. You see, God understands what it is like to see His children frustrated by the sin-fallen world. He gets it and when I go to Him and empty myself of me to be filled with Him... I see autism from the cross and then from the resurrection. Autism has nothing on my God.
God didn't give Kennedy autism. He gave me an opportunity to know His love even more. And He is going to do Great things with her and through her if she allows Him... that I am certain. Praise the God who is with us through all things!
Mrs. Bobbi McMasters