Love and Grace over Duty and Responsibility - A Blog By Mr. Danny McMasters

So, my wife and I are anti-valentiners. If you need one day a year to remember to show love to those around you than you need help with talking love languages to those people around you. But yet showing love is very much needed and sometimes overlooked in our society. We send flowers only on special occasions instead of doing it because we spontaneously remember them and want to. We need calendar dates to remember to do acts of kindness for our loved ones. That just doesn't strike us as important and so we choose to live Valentine's Day everyday. 

But I want to bring to life what problem we have seen most and have experienced in our own lives. Frequently in the Christian marriage the man is held to a certain responsibility and duty. When he fails he is often reminded about what he should be doing instead of showed the same love and grace that we preach. 

Our marriage has seen challenging times and my wife often pointed her finger (not literally but figuratively) at what I should be doing. She would lecture me about what my role of husband included and that I was constantly falling short of the "biblical man". We ended up separating for a really short time. I was sure we were on the road to divorce but Bobbi and the Holy Spirit were plotting against me... or for me. 

You see, Bobbi didn't tell me during our time apart that she was "yielding" to God to get me instead of her lecturing me. She was choosing to show unconditional love even if it was from a distance and I was able to see a change. Our marriage had to completely crumble to the point that only the cross and resurrection could redeem it. When my wife chose unconditional love was when I was free from mistakes and could rebuild not based on duty or responsibility but based on love and grace. 

When my wife preaches about unconditional love and forgiveness and people shrug her off because she is young and "hasn't had the experience" to know how difficult it can be. But yet, I stand as a man that needed her love and forgiveness even though she had every biblical reason to walk away... instead she picked up her cross for us. She stopped lecturing me about what cross I was supposed to pick up and she picked it up in obedience and also in understanding that Christ did it for her. 

Now, understand this, though we did rebuild in love and grace it does move me to do the duties and responsibility I hold as husband and father. Understand love and grace will move someone to obedience. So many will say that the man is called to be the biblical leader in the house but in this house it is my wife and generations will be impacted because of the woman of God I am blessed to care for and to love. She partners with me instead of expecting me to lead and she doesn't laugh when my biblical knowledge does not match hers (I am not going to try and compete with a lady who has her degree and is pursing her masters in biblical studies). Her partnership and teacher/leadership leads this house and I am so thankful for that woman and her dedication to living in the most Christ-like manner. 

So this Valentine's Day we dare you, Drop the Flowers and Pick UP THE CROSS.