Tonight, you and me... we tucked her in to her bed as we prayed about her new school. Her new friends. Her new teacher.
She cried. And cried. And cried.
Well, Lord, I am crying too.
She is going into a main stream class. She is just now realizing that she won't have last years teachers and her good friends will not be there with her. No longer is she in a special needs preschool where all her friends are "like" her... but now we enter into the world of Kindergarten. Will she be the only one in her class with an IEP? Will the other kids be able to understand her? Will her teacher be able to understand her? Will kids be nice to her? Will they notice she can't make eye contact? Will they make fun of her for her rubbing her forehead when she gets excited or nervous?
Lord, I am going to ask for 3 things.
1. I am going to ask that you never ever leave her alone! Always be with her and go before her. Surround her with your presence. Your Word says you never leave us and I know it but tonight, tonight my momma heart needs to simply ask you... because I WANT YOU with her. Don't leave my baby, Lord.... I can't go to Kindergarten with her but YOU can! Hold her close, Lord. I am trusting her to you.
2. I am going to ask for 1-2 kids that will be a good good friend. That will understand her. That won't defriend her for a meltdown because she doesn't understand how a game is to be played. Lord, send one or two kids that will make sure she isn't alone on the playground. That will talk to her at lunch.
3. I am going to ask that you keep giving her the spirit of overcoming. The Spirit of perseverance that you have given her from the beginning. She overcome being born at 32 weeks. She overcame bladder reflux. She is overcoming a speech delay. She is rocking autism. Lord, keep that spirit fresh in her. Keep her fighting. Keep her reaching for her goals, not looking at those around her but eyes focused on where she is. She can applaud her classmates for their successes but let her eyes focus on where you have her and her goals. Lord, I gave up asking for perfection... I just want to see her progress keep moving forward. Lord, help her to not feel frustrated when she is having trouble grasping new concepts. Help her have clarity and understanding. Help us help her with learning new skills and concepts.
Lord, and dare I ask it but let her be a Light for you in her own unique way. Let her shine for you. I don't care if she ever shines academically. But may she always shine for you. Help her listen to her teachers. Help her be kind to her classmates and love those around her. Help her to be more and more like you as she grows physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.
God, I am going to praise and thank you for what you are going to do in and through her this year. Autism cannot stop you. You are bigger than it. So, I am going to claim that success and victory today with tears streaming and a worried mommy heart. Will it be easy? probably not... but she will grow and learn this year.
Lord, thanks for listening and already moving in my heart to take the worry. I am so thankful I don't have to keep it I can give it to the one who carries all burdens. Thank you, Thank you. Thank you.
In Your precious and Holy Name,